Martyr. A person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle. – Merriam-Webster
Or I shall define as “a person who stays in a failing relationship though he/she isn’t happy anymore, though it’s just hurting him/her, or though it’s betraying him/her.”
A relationship is failing when it no longer gives you the reason to be happy, when it stops to look at each other’s welfare, or when it becomes selfish.
I was thinking how to revised and improve my supposed to be next post when this topic suddenly crosses my mind. Why is it so hard to give up a failing relationship? I thought before going to a more complex topic why not talk first about what is the common and frequent situation. For sure if not all many can relate to this.
We heard a lot of stories about battered wives, cheating husbands, or two timers. But as many of these stories, you will find as well people who chose to stay in these failing relationships. Painful it is, yet why is it so hard to give up a failing relationship? Why is it so hard to just forget everything as if it didn’t happen and move on with your own life?
THE POWER OF LOVE
The scripture says, “Love is patient, love is kind.” Yes, it is. No matter how badly it hurts you if it is for the person you love you can bear it, you will bear it. Love will give you an endless reason to hold on and a never-ending strength to go on. Love will give you that unconditional feeling not to give up even if it is already failing.
For that same reason there are girls who even after they’ve caught their boyfriends cheating on them, still chose to just forgive, forget and start all over again. Because their love is more than and is bigger enough to accept the acceptable and understand the unbearable. Love has just got a power to the people who loves.
EMOTIONAL AND TIME INVESTMENT
“Love always perseveres.” From the very first minute you spent with that person you love, the very first-time love sprouts in your heart, from that very moment you started to invest in that relationship. It is an investment that no amount of money can compensate. And just like our financial assets, we don’t want to see these investments losing and be earned by others.
The romantic dates, movie together, summer outing, and even those times you quarreled and reconciled are moments you surely going to miss if you give up. And, many don’t want to feel that or nobody can bear the pain of losing such an investment.
“Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Many stays in a failing relationship because they have a very forgiving heart and are very optimistic, hoping that their partner will still change. Hoping that as soon as he/she realizes what is wrong, he/she will exert an effort to correct it. Hoping that they can sit down, talk and settle all the problems.
Aren’t they say everybody deserves a second chance? Perhaps that’s why many would choose to endure the pain, patiently wait and hope that second chance would be different.
“Love is not self-seeking”. Though many stays in a relationship because of good reasons, there are some also who only stays because of their pride. Because they want to prove the choices they’ve made in life are right.
There are stories of wives who married a man whom her family, in the very first place, is against of. After a while, this man is already beating her but she won’t give up on him because she doesn’t want her family to put the blame back to her, for not listening to them. She wants to prove that despite his imperfection, their relationship can still work.
Is it all worth it? I can’t say yes or a no in someone’s behalf because we all have different stories. We have different experiences. But, even if that relationship you have now seems to be failing yet it continues to give you a reason to fight, then why it is not worth it after all?
It’s all worth it becoming martyrs.
#relationship #breakup #separateways #love #couple