Lovely it is when you have someone who loves and cares about you just as much as you do to him or her. Even more fulfilling when you can have that relationship last long. But, being in a relationship is also working on the relationship. It requires you both to talk, express and negotiate; it needs communication; you must communicate to your partner.
I have it kept in my memory my high school teacher emphasizing communication is the exchange of information between two persons or more. Consistently true in a romantic relationship between a man and woman.
However, communicating with your partner, or the person whom you are in a relationship with must be done with extra careful. Otherwise, it may send a different and wrong information. If you communicate to your partner in these three ways, then you are definitely putting your relationship into peril.
When does a person shout? We normally shout when the person we talk to is at a distant location, or when we are angry. But, more often shouting connotes anger and dislike. No wonder even if we are not angry and yet we have spoken loudly, some people would joke at us asking “are you angry?”
Try saying this with different tones:
Sweet and Flirty: Are you crazy? Don’t ever do that again or else…
Shouting: Are you crazy? Don’t ever do that again or else…
See the difference? Imagine how your partner would feel if you shout at him. Remember, our action speaks louder than our words. The way you say things expresses the intention. If you make shouting a habit, you are giving your partner a constant feeling of being disliked. That you no longer want him. This often leads then to breakup or separation. If you love the person, let your language and your voice make him feel it.
Ignoring or Simply Not Saying It
You were out at a party where his college buddies were also present. You were mad because he left you alone in one corner. On your way home, you were stomping. He curiously asked, “Are you mad?” But, you did not reply and just walk away.
I would agree sometimes it is better to ignore and not say a thing so the situation will not become more complicated. But, this is not how you work out a relationship. In every rule, there is an exemption.
Your partner is no other person. He is your other half. Thus, he must know what is in your heart and in your mind so he can process and react accordingly. How would he know why you are angry and what you exactly want him to do if you would not tell him? I bet, your partner is not a fortune-teller nor has any power to predict and pre-empt the future.
As I have mentioned, there must be an exchange of information between you and your partner. The way your partner treat you is a result of how you communicate with each other; it is based on how much information you freely share.
No matter how ugly the truth or the information is, he deserves to know it. He must know it so that he can comprehend and probably realize what is wrong. Then, you can talk and resolve it. This is the way to a better and longer relationship.
He told you he is going out with some workmates of which some are girls. You were fine with the idea of him going out with friends, but you cannot help not to feel uncomfortable knowing there are girls with them. You feel jealous. Yet, you told him it is okay.
Oh no, but what you are doing is dangerous. If you keep pretending and hiding those insecurities, it will consume you. It will give birth to doubts and hesitations, and even hatred. By pretending the exact opposite of how you truly feel, you are allowing him to do the same thing again without feeling guilty, for you have consented it in the very first place.
You are depriving him the opportunity to prove his self to you. If he only knew, a person who is in love would normally react by making you feel secured and loved so that you will be reassured. Give him the chance to do that to you. Do not pretend it is okay if it is actually not. Pretending will never resolve any of your issues.
How about you, how do you communicate to your partner? What other ways can you suggest will promote a good relationship? Leave it in the comment box.