Love vs Friendship: Steps How to Move on after Breakup

           “I love you…”

     These might be the words that you love most to hear your boyfriend is saying to you. Coupled with a tight held of your hand and a gentle kiss on your cheek, life in a day is just but perfect! These are the days when you simply feel hyperactive that even after the long and literally tiring work shift, you can still manage to hang out with friends, grab a beer, watch a movie and have a long chatting, after all he’s there with you. With you, hanging out with your friends too. With your friend too. With your best friend too.

     You would probably be so happy and comfortable that your boyfriend is getting so well with your best friend. Your best friend whom you keep secrets with and joins you in all your folly. You’re probably so thankful that at least you have already these two important persons beside you, even for all the days of your life. Two persons that understand you and cheer you when you’re simply not in good shape.

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      But what if things change? What if things go wrong?

     What if he can no longer hold your hands? What if he can no longer kiss your cheek? What if he can no longer say “I love you”?

     What if she loves him now? What if he loves her more? What if …?

     How will you deal with it?

     Well, this do really happen. You’re suddenly left alone because your best friend and your boyfriend simply fall in love with each other. If you’re one who’s experiencing this, where friendship is sinking because love is soaring, I got the following steps for you to try on how to deal with this kind of loss.

1. BE HURT. Who wouldn’t be hurt if your Christian Grey simply becomes someone else’ dominant? It is just normal to feel hurt and be in pain if you experience this. So don’t be afraid to show that you are hurt. But oops! I’m not telling you to be scandalous and publicise how you think you’ve been betrayed. What I’m saying is, if you feel like crying then cry. Pour all that tears. Let your tears wash away the pain, somehow. Spend some time alone. You might want to try watching a comedy movie in a cinema, with your tears rolling down your cheeks while other viewers are laughing. Just don’t mind them. They don’t understand how you feel. It is fine to be sad, but not too long because you might be missing too much of your life.

2. LEARN TO ACCEPT. I tell you, it is very difficult to accept that your best friend replaced you in his heart. You know why? It’s stepping your pride. But let me remind you that your pride won’t bring him back. But, if you humble yourself and accept what they have for each other now, it would release you from the bondage of hatred and bitterness. Remember that these two persons love you too. They never intend to hurt you. I think nobody would ever want to do that to a friend. It’s just that love indeed moves in mysterious ways.

3. KEEP A DISTANCE. Don’t be a hypocrite to act normal as if nothing happened. You and both of them know that things are not so much okay with you, so definitely they would, they’re too dumb if they wouldn’t, understand why you’re making the distance. Also, stay away from people who ask or talk so much about the issue. They will only feed you with negative thoughts. When we are hurt we can hardly control our emotion and what they may feed you may only cause you to harbor more grudges.

4. WATCH YOUR WORD. Never forget that this is your friend or your best friend and that someone whom you once had a relationship with. Whatever you say or tell to other people now about them may affect your future relationships with them. You don’t need to tell everybody about everything. You have to put yourself a limitation because you never know where and how will the story reach other’s ears. Always be careful with what you say. You might not want to regret it later on. If you want to release those negative vibes inside you, talk to someone you can trust. I would suggest that you talk to spiritual or should I say a religious person or talk to a pastor. They will surely make you realize that God’s love is sufficient for you.

5. REGAIN THE FRIENDSHIP. After all, you can’t live forever as stranger or enemies. You have to regain the friendship at least if you can’t be the best of friends anymore. How to do this? Well, you may start with a courageous look at his/her eyes followed with simple nod and smile, once you see each other, after quite some time, maybe even in a hallway or in a restaurant. That can signal her or him that you’re feeling better and that you are now ready to start a new.

     Moving on after losing someone you love is a tough process. It requires courage, control and patience, so much more when the breakup is due to your best friend. But there’s always a way to get out of it. You just have to choose how you want it to happen. Do you want to save the friendship or do you want to just forget if ever happened?

READ: 10 Perks of Being Single

     The scenario I gave is already a worse case, but you can always follow the same steps whatever the reason for the break up is. These will definitely lessen the complications.

     What else can you suggest? Leave your comment.

Photo Credit: Virginette Acacio , Foundry    #relationship #breakup #movingon #love

So, what can you say?