Marriage is a give and take relationship though sometimes it requires you to give more. But how much can you give for someone you love? How much can you sacrifice to make your relationship work? Until when are you willing to forgive and understand? Let’s try to look at the story of our advice seeker:
“The Anxious Wife”
Hi, nice to meet you.
Hello there! Thank you for coming to our page. How can I help you?
I’ve been stressed out over my relationship. We’ve been together for 11 years. The issue is that he’s not being helpful. He is selfish and I do most of the jobs. He prioritizes his friends more than us. I’m not happy about it.
I understand in every relationship it will come to a point that you simply get tired. But dear, don’t let that feeling consume you. It’s just momentary. Instead, recall those moments when you were happy together. Remember the very reason why you two get into that relationship. Love doesn’t count what it can get or give.
Dear, if you’re not happy with what he’s been doing then let him know. But be very careful in telling that you won’t offend him. Say it in a sweet way, be affectionate just like the way you persuade your mom to buy you that doll you really like when you were young. Don’t be rude or else you both go out of the mood.
For years, I tried every way to tell and make him understand, but he doesn’t seem to cut down. I don’t expect him to stay away from his friends, but he needs to spend time with us.
What does he do with his friends? Why don’t you try to join them? Aren’t his friends your friends too?
They’re drinking, singing and chit-chatting. I tried to join them before, but it’s not the right place for the kids because they’re smoking.
You must sit down and talk. Involve the kids in planning what to do as a family bonding. He might pay attention if the kids would ask him to do it.
Actually, our older daughter has been asking him many times, but he always make excuses. Sometimes he would say he doesn’t feel too well or the weather is hot. Whenever it happens I just take the kids out or just keep my mouth shut. Only my facial expression would show to him how disappointed I was.
I wonder if you two have been fighting as well. But please avoiding fighting with him as much as you can. Keep showing him nice things. Don’t let him feel that you hate him. Show him that your love can conquer the situation.
Dear, I know how painful it is, but be patient. Widen your understanding and use your love to overcome this. Remember you can’t repay kindness with anger. So just continue being that kind and loving sweet wife to him. Who knows, one day he will realize that you don’t deserve all these.
Oh no. Never give up to the love that you once chose to live with. There is no perfect relationship dear. It’s just a challenge or test in your relationship that you both need to overcome. Stop looking at the bad side of him. Look at the good side.
Dear, I feel like you have already kept so much anger in your heart. Let me ask you these, when was the last time you said to him “I love you”? When was the last time you embraced him and said sorry for the wrong things you have done? Though it’s not your fault doesn’t mean you have nothing to say sorry for. Just be humble and be submissive to your husband. Show him the soft side of you. Show him that you need him. Don’t ever dare to leave him, do it for the kids.
I have to go now, they’re looking for me.
Who can ever say what is too much and what is not enough for love? We experience different love problems and I may not be the best person to give advice on this matter, but the truth remains, love is always worth fighting for. Love is something that we should not easily give up on. In this case, we’re not just talking about love but marriage, family. And, I just can’t afford to advise our seeker to let go of it.
How about you, what advice can you give to our seeker? Leave us your comment.
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