“Have I known, I would have done something to save my relationship from dying.” -April
Many relationships ended because one becomes unfaithful. Yet, many relationships as well were ended because of some personal traits or characteristics of the people involved which cause complications that later on destroy the relationship. Before it’s too late, you better check it now from my list which do you exhibit and how it can destroy your relationship.
1. Lack of Trust
You lack trust to your partner if you don’t believe that he can offer you with the truth. If you are always doubtful with what he tells and shows you. If you can’t simply agree with his yes and no. In not putting your trust in him, you’re just poisoning your own mind. You will begin to think negatively and this will happen over and over again until you have completely forgotten how to trust that person you love. How can you live your life with the person you don’t even trust? You will never find peace and assurance in always doubting your partner.
For sure everybody would agree with me if I say that dishonesty or lying can destroy relationships. Though sometimes we lie because we don’t want to hurt our partner. But before you do that, ask yourself first, “wouldn’t she be hurt more if she will find out I lied? Would lying be less painful than telling her the truth now?” No matter what your reasons are fact remains, you lied. When you lie, you are already changing the direction of your relationship. You are misleading her and your entire relationship.
You are controlling if you always want to dominate your partner. If you push her to believe in your myth that all you want is just for her own good. Sometimes, we think that by doing things and making decisions in our partner’s behalf we are actually doing them a favour. But, have you ever asked yourself what if that’s not how she wants your relationship would be? What if she wants to be independent? Have you ever asked her if she’s happy with you alone, making decisions for her and for your entire relationship? Wake up dude, she’s not a robot. You can’t just dictate her what and what not she should do. You got to let her live her life on her own for you to continue to see that kind of person you chose to love. Otherwise, she will lose her identity and she will live on your shadow.
The world doesn’t only exist between the two of you. The people around you are part of that world. So couples should learn to live their lives with the people from both of their different worlds. As such, a man should not always think or act like someone is going to snatch her girl. I remember a friend complaining about her boyfriend being too possessive. He doesn’t want him to have lunch with her classmates because there are some boys with them. A relationship requires freedom for it to grow. You already possess that person you love. If you want to have her forever, then let your relationship grow, give it some freedom. Instead of stopping her from seeing her friends, why not join them? Do not imprison her in your love because all who are imprisoned, the only wish is to be able to escape from that prison. You might not want her to have the same wish!
READ: Relationship Goals: 10 Things Couples Can Achieve Together
5. Too Demanding
I hope I’m not being subjective here but, I think this one is a common problem with girls. Do this, do that. Buy this, buy that. Let me ask you, do you really love this person? Were you looking for a partner to love and who will love you back or you were just looking for a slave to follow your orders? Your partner is not your slave or your pet so don’t treat him like one. If you need his help, then be kind enough to ask him to do you a favour. But, don’t simply let him do all the efforts, do also your part. Wouldn’t you agree that relationship grows better if two people do the things together?
If there are those too possessive, there are also some passive partners. You are one if you don’t know how to make a good fight for what you desire. You always seek approval from others. For instance, your parents don’t like your girlfriend for some reasons. In movies with this kind of story, commonly the man fights for the girl. In real life, would you do the same? What can you do for the person you love and to save your relationship? Do not just let her live in the fantasy you created the moment you first told her “I love you”. Make that fantasy a reality.
One of the things I’ve learned about my past relationships is to never regret the things that you have done for someone you love. But, isn’t it more fulfilling if that person also appreciates the things you do for him? Seriously, you don’t always have to return the favour because, for a person who’s in love, a simple hug or kiss is more than enough. Your simple “thank you” could already mean a lot. You don’t always have to say those sweet words “I love you”, just show it through your actions. Especially to girls, actions speaks louder than words. Otherwise, she will begin to think like you don’t really love her.
Sometimes our partners make promises which may not be put into realization. Before you make your judgement, be sure to give utmost consideration to every reason he or she has. Otherwise, you are being inconsiderate. Just like when your boyfriend cannot fetch you from work and drive you home because he has to finish his presentation for his meeting the next day. It’s fine to be upset when he can’t make his promises but be reasonable. Weigh if he has valid reasons. You live in the world of reality so be realistic. Besides, he’s maybe doing this for the future of both of you. He’s already carrying a lot of pressure from his other responsibilities. Don’t add anymore too much of it, he might no longer be able to carry it all.
Indeed, no one is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But, this does not give you an excuse to be acting like a stupid freak. Reassess yourself: Am I causing our relationship to shatter? Am I putting our relationship into peril? It’s never too late. You can still change for the better.
Am I missing something? Don’t you agree with me? Speak your mind. Leave a comment.
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