It’s not new to us, Filipinos, couples or husband, and wife who live in distant places or what we call in a “long-distance relationship”. Some think when a woman’s husband is working abroad, her life is easier and happier. What many don’t know are the emotional challenges she has to go through.
Read the story of our 4th Advice-Seeker whose husband is an overseas Filipino worker (OFW).
How can you trust someone who has betrayed before? Will love be enough to keep you strong and hopeful?
Advice Seeker: Good day. I need an advice.
APRIL: Hello, dear. What advice do you need?
Advice Seeker: I don’t know what to do. My husband is in Dubai and I want to go there.
APRIL: Then, why don’t you go there? What’s bothering you?
Advice Seeker: I already went to six agencies to apply but not even one is offering job in Dubai. I can’t trust my husband if he’s far away. He already cheated me before while I was in Kuwait.
APRIL: I understand how you feel, dear. It’s really hard to trust him again. But, it was in the past. If you can’t be with him now, then you have no option but to simply trust him even if it’s hard.
Don’t let that doubt destroy your relationship. Be patient in waiting for the opportunity to come that you’ll be with him.
By the ways, are you married? Do you have kids?
Advice Seeker: Yes, we’re one year married but we don’t have our own kids yet. But, I have a child with my previous husband who died 6 years ago.
APRIL: I see. Just hold on dear. Soon, you’ll be with him. Don’t be too focus on him. Instead, focus on your child. Make a life. Keep yourself busy so negative thoughts won’t cross your mind. You have to learn to trust him no matter what he has done before. Learn to communicate frequently and openly with him. Remember, he is your husband.
Advice Seeker: I love him so much that’s why I’m worried that he make the same mistakes again. Anyways, thank you so much.
APRIL: You’re welcome.
Trust, once broken is already difficult to rebuild. That’s why we should be careful not to break someone’s trust in us.
In the case of our advice-seeker, the issue is not only the distance between her and her husband but also trust, which is a common problem for couples in a long-distance relationship.
In a relationship like marriage, love and trust should be the foundation. No one should not linger on the past, otherwise, doubts will always in them.
The reason why our advice-seeker doesn’t trust her husband and doubts his faithfulness are because he already cheated her before. To my dear readers, this is what I want to stress out and I want you to remember, “When you give a second chance to someone who has wronged you, “forget as well the thing he or she has done which hurt you.” That is the real essence of forgiving; you forget and offer chances. Obviously, this is the part that our advice-seeker skipped in the process.
Moreover, I still believe love is more powerful than anything else to heal brokenness and to complete the emptiness. Our advice seeker should have capitalized the love she has for her husband especially that they are in a long-distance relationship. She should have anchored her faith that everything is going to be well, into the love which they have for each other.
My message to all wives whose husband is working abroad, learn to give your utmost trust to your husband. Once you forgive him for his wrong doings, forget it as well. Think what he is doing now is for you and your family. Focus on the positive and not on the negative.
How about you, what advice can you give to our advice-seeker? Let your mind speak. Leave us your comment.